cityblog

Teehee. (I’m a homeschool graduate myself.)

Filed at 1:28 pm under Funnies
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I love this shirt.

Filed at 4:25 pm under Funnies
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I’m sitting here at work on a veeerrrry slow day and I just opened a fortune cookie that says:

The skills you have gathered will one day come in handy.

Good to know.

Which reminds me of last night’s fortune, which, I kid you not, said:

Tastes like chicken.

Filed at 12:47 pm under Funnies, Facepalm
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From Overheard in New York today:

It’s a Really Long Story
Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson SUCKS!
Tweenie boy #2: Well, did you hear his music when he was black?
Tweenie boy #1: Michael Jackson was black?!
–Central Park

Filed at 3:54 pm under Funnies
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Tom and I send a lot of emails back and forth with links and other random things (though Google Calendar has helped greatly in cutting down the “when were we going to that?” emails). So he decided we should pick a subject line each day, since Gmail handily files emails under the same subject line on the same day. (We are googlophiles.)

Today’s subject line: “Wubber Boots”.

It just makes me giggle inside.

In other, more grown-up news, I now have a functioning BlackBerry in my possession, and I know how to use it. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Filed at 1:56 pm under Funnies, Work
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There’s nothing quite as adorable or funny as watching your boyfriend laugh hysterically - enough to have tears rolling down his cheeks - at Jon Stewart doing a “heh heh heh” dance. If Tom had been drinking milk, it would have come out his nose last night.

I fully intended to go to girls’ group this morning, and even rolled out of bed at the ungodly hour of 6:15 am, but I got somehow lost in the Pile Of Clothing That Is My Bedroom and it was suddenly 7:30 am and it was just too late to go. But I was showered and dressed and blow-dried. So I did what any sensible chick would do and got myself to Joe for a huge chai (I had ten stamps on my coffee-drinking card and therefore it was FREE) and finished a book and read a few pages from my half-a-Bible (it was paperback and split in two, so it starts at Psalm 9:11b) and started The Blue Castle and scribbled some ideas for the homework I never did for tonight’s film journalism class and drank my chai and watched people go by. It was a splendid decision. I think I need to make sure my next apartment is near a coffeeshop so that I can do that sometimes. It made the whole day start on a good foot.

Downstairs in Rockefeller Center, they’re having some sale of Elton John’s wardrobe for charity. To which I say . . . dude, what were you thinking?

Filed at 8:50 am under New York City, Daily Goings-On, Funnies
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A call is coming through on my phone (I’m on a conference call) and the caller ID says “7777777777″.

Think it is God?

Filed at 10:33 am under Funnies
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I love this!

Filed at 4:06 pm under Geekitude, Funnies
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So I went to the Radiant release party on Monday night in Orlando. Leigh Nash was great (pictures) and I plan to get her album when it comes out.

But the funniest part of the night: I walked up to Cameron (Strang, the Head Dude at Relevant) and asked him if he was Tyler (Clark, the managing editor). Whoops. They got a kick out of it.

Filed at 1:38 pm under Funnies, Facepalm
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Via Scott:

Hehe.

Filed at 3:25 pm under Funnies, Facepalm
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If you were sitting anywhere behind the third row in church yesterday, you might have noticed (hopefully not) Tom and I suddenly convulsing with silent laughter for no apparent reason. I got the hiccups, I was laughing so hard. Oddly, it was not at a joke in the sermon, so I feel a need to explain.

A few weeks ago, we went to a publike place to have lunch after church with a bunch of people. We were having a conversation about . . . something . . . and somehow Sam (our pastor) brought up the fact that Peter, the apostle, was not poor. The conversation went vaguely like this:

Sam: Really! He lived in a rather nice house, right near the synagogue, so he was probably a wealthy man.
Tom: Wow! How do you know all this?
Sam: Oh, they actually found Peter’s house in an archaeological dig.
Tom: How did they know it was Peter’s house?
Todd: Oh. Well. When they dug it up, there was a big seal on it with a “P” in the middle.
Me: ::dies laughing::

So I’d mostly forgotten this conversation, but yesterday Sam mentioned Peter and how he was a wealthy man in his sermon, and suddenly I started shaking and giggling as quietly as possible. Then Tom slowly started sketching a house on the top of his notes with a big “P” on it. I nearly died. It’s one of those great moments where you are trying to stop laughing, and the more you try to stop, the harder it gets. And just when I sobered up, I’d remember Todd’s statement and start all over again.

Fun times. :)

Filed at 3:51 pm under Funnies, Facepalm, Church
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Jon Stewart (of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show) to host Oscars.

Maybe I’ll actually watch this year.

Click to read the New York Times article:

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Filed at 5:28 pm under Funnies, Film, Facepalm
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Douglas Wilson is dissecting Brian McLaren’s A Generous Orthodoxy on his website, Blog and Mablog. This bit made me laugh out loud. (I haven’t read McLaren’s book, so I don’t know how I feel about this, but take it as a bit of Wilson’s great wry humor.)

Here is why McLaren considers it appropriate to reject Calvinism, and still call himself a Calvinist. He does this because he thought up a new set of phrases to go with the TULIP acronym. His version is Triune Love, Unselfish Election, Limitless Reconciliation, Inspiring Grace, and Passionate Persistent Saints.

This is like me suddenly realizing that I (yes, even I) am also part of the emergent church, because I emerged from the shower this morning. I am a member of McLaren’s generous orthodoxy because I have been generous with gasoline for my chain saw. This is like saying that McLaren is a Cartesian foundationalist because even he would affirm that Jesus is in some sense a cornerstone. McLaren says that he respects the Reformed faith (p. 187), but his methods of argumentation drip with a coy contempt. And I myself am a Calvinist because I embrace the philosophy of Nietzsche: The western world is dying, Unmeasured violence is coming, Love is stupid, I am da man, and People annoy me. Nothing like a little tough-minded theological analysis to get the brain going in the morning.

Filed at 11:39 pm under Funnies, Theology
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The New York Times ran an article (free access online if you register) on the initiative to remove conductors from the G train. The G runs between Brooklyn and Queens and never enters Manhattan. Few people like the train - mention it and people either roll their eyes or stare confusedly at you, wondering what you are talking about. On several notable occasions, I’ve sat on the platform for at least an hour waiting for the train. (Three of us got on one, only to have to stop in the tracks two stops later while the conductor said “Ladies and gentlemen, there’s a car in front of us.” “You lie!” we shouted.)

Anyhow, the article had this rich and hilarious line:

The G line’s performance was defended by Emanuele Zanet, the G line superintendent at New York City Transit, the transportation authority subsidiary that operates the subways. “It operates quite efficiently, on time and on schedule,” he said.

I don’t even live anywhere near the G, and I’m chortling.

Filed at 5:38 pm under New York City, Funnies, Facepalm
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I’ve been rather introspective on the blog of late, so here’s something to cheer you up, courtesy of Dave Barry (of the Miami Herald), who made my college newspaper-reading experience so much more enjoyable.

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.

And . . .

Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.

Adieu, till inspiration strikes (and I suspect that will be in the near future).

Filed at 11:43 am under Funnies
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If you check out my sidebar, you’ll note that I’ve been reading Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality, by Donald Miller. I realize it’s a bit trendy to be reading this book now, but I was curious about the fuss.

Well, I’m enjoying it. Miller has an unusual conversational writing style (something I am rather prone to) and his insights are very simple, but rarely said. Many of his stories are connected with spending time on a college campus (the name escapes me at the moment) in the northwest, and having people look at him like he had two heads and wonder why, as a Christian, you would ever put yourself in such a “heathen” place. And then He tells what God did there. I have gotten the same reaction about being in New York (this is the devil’s playground, right? ha!) and I’m glad there are people out there telling the truth.

Here are the two quotes I stopped, chuckled about, and wrote into my notebook:

“I was a fundamentalist Christian once. It lasted a summer. I was in that same phase of trying to discipline myself to ‘behave’ as if I loved light and not ‘behave’ as if I loved darkness. I used to get really ticked about preachers who talked too much about grace, because they tempted me to not be disciplined. I figured what people needed was a kick in the butt, and if I failed at godliness it was because those around me weren’t trying hard enough. I believed if word got out about grace, the whole church was going to turn into a brothel. I was a real jerk, I think.”
pg 79

“There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing. (They hang there, the stars, like notes on a page of music, free-form verse, silent mysteries swirling in the blue like jazz.)”
pg 100

And this gem I will throw in for free because it is funny, and it is from last night.
Tom, with cell phone pressed to ear, and without explanation: Tony, where is your bed?
Tony, with a rather befuddled expression: My bed? Uh? It’s . . . in the bedroom.
Catherine and Alissa, on the couch: <collapse in giggles>

Filed at 4:13 pm under Life, Friends, Writing, Funnies, Books
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This is why European chocolate rocks my world:

“Enjoying chocolate as part of a balanced lifestyle can play a part in making people feel calmer more relaxed and generally happier. Chocolate gives us an emotional boost, which triggers similar ‘good feelings’ to those we experience when listening to music, or being in love!”
(Verbatim, including grammar, from the back of a Cadbury chocolate wrapper.)

Filed at 12:31 pm under Funnies
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You know it’s a slow day at work when you suddenly recall watching Manos: Hands of Fate - the Mystery Science Theater Version - and have to stifle giggles. Best horrible movie EVER. I think it’s rated #1 on the Worst 100 Movies of All Time list at IMDB.

Filed at 4:06 pm under Geekitude, Funnies
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This article from the New York Times cracked me up. I can totally see a bunch of art students cooking the idea up.

As always, you can create an account online for free to read the Times (it’s quick!) - but I’ve copied the article under the cut.
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Filed at 12:40 pm under Funnies
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And this is the winner for this week’s “Best Quotes I Heard Someone Yelling Into a Cell Phone on a Street Corner”:

Guy outside restaurant shouting angrily and emphatically into his cell phone in the village:
“No, no! The absolute best book about the French Revolution is A Tale of Two Cities!”

Filed at 4:49 pm under New York City, Funnies
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